It doesn't take the nightly news beat of war to know the past eighteen months have been fraught with terror-related trauma and economic stress beyond the 9/11 horror. In large and small ways, we in the Metro-DC area hospitality and conference management industry, in particular, have been hit hard and wide: a) the anthrax and dirty bomb scares, along with the region-gripping sniper tragedy, b) the current positioning of antiballistic weaponry and biochemical detectors, c) the continued downturn in the airlines and hotel industries and, even, d) the ever-present reminder of not being able to leave your plane seat 30 minutes into and out of Washington National. (Not to mention this past winter weather onslaught, which precipitated a new "sister city" linkage: Buffalo-on-the-Potomac!)
So how can you maintain some sense of control, humor and grace under pressure? Consider "The Stress Doc's Five Key Tips for Managing the Fear Factor":
1. Stay Connected, Not Compulsive. Don't just bury your head in work as a way to tune out anxiety. Conversely, beware the deer in the headlights syndrome from CNN overload: "To become stress free…pull the damn plug on news addict TV!" And you'll likely prevent developing "color" blindness. Talk with significant others to help release and reduce your fears. Seek a serene mean: constant venting (or being exposed to such an invasive "stress carrier") likely will fuel anxious ruminating and company rumor-nating.
2. Sustain Commitment, Demonstrate Courage. When it comes to managing trauma and strengthening emotional muscle, more is on the line than just individual stress. Consider this vignette: a month after 9/11, a Ph.D. Research Psychologist working at the National Institutes of Health (in the Metro-Washington area) at a Center meeting recalled the terror-induced distraught weeping of her ten-year-old daughter. The girl was trying to dissuade her mother from attending an out-of-town conference shortly after the September attacks. Despite having left the child with her parents, this single mother was still not sure she had done the right thing. Once discerning that the daughter was doing fine, I asked this Mom to loosen her guilt knot and to consider that, "You've been a role model for courage. That despite having some fears, the message you gave your daughter was not of neglect. Your actions revealed having enough confidence in yourself and in her, and a belief in meeting important responsibilities even in tough times."
3. Spread the Humor. Clearly, there's no joking away today's litany of fears, scares and tragedies yet, as the comedic genius, Charlie Chaplin, understood, more than ever we need to laugh: "A paradoxical thing is that in making comedy the tragic is precisely which arouses the funny...we have to laugh due to our helplessness in the face of natural forces and (in order) not to go crazy."
Infusing the industry as a whole with both light and enlightening in-house training and conference programs filled with laughter and fun would be an invaluable and inspiring gift. Sometimes, though, major planning isn't necessary; healing humor may only require a deft touch at a sensitive or "higher power" moment. Consider the repertoire of a Southwest Airlines employee at a traditionally somber interlude. Reviewing takeoff procedures, the steward, holding both oxygen mask and float cushion, suddenly says, "Since part of this trip will be over water, in the unlikely event that this flight becomes a cruise"…and before he could complete his instructions, waves of laughter rolled through the cabin.
Facing our doubts and demons, whether getting on a plane or being apart from family while attending a conference are all vital components for long-term relief and rejuvenation. As the psychiatrist, Ernst Kris, noted: "What was once feared and is now mastered is laughed at." And as the Stress Doc inverted: "What was once feared and is now laughed at is no longer a master!"
4. Distinguish Probable vs. Possible. Do some basic preparedness at the office and at home: whether it's assembling a "first aid" type response kit or having extra bottles of water and jars of peanut butter. Just being proactive helps us feel more in control. But again, don't go overboard. A recent New York Daily News headline had it right: "Daffy Duct!"
When decision-making is driven by "the possible" (adverse consequences) then we are nearly always anxious, vulnerable and on the edge. With a fertile mind, almost any negative influence or occurrence or omen can be lurking in the shadows. However, by evaluating situations more objectively, often with the help of dependable feedback, thereby discerning what is a reasonable expectation or likely result, that is, "the probable," we can: a) better assess past and present issues and events as well as future warning indicators, b) identify more accurately the problem-solving content and context, what's relevant background data, what's noise, and c) generate more reliable, optimally risk-taking and likely effective individual and collective response options and actions.
5. Develop Natural SPEED. In summary, try this formula for stress inoculation:
S = Sleep. Don't be cheap with your need for sleep. Less than six hours a day for most folks dulls cognitive sharpness, a critical faculty for firmly grasping those fear factors.
P = Priorities. One example: distinguish "the urgent" (which must be handled immediately) from the "the important" (which can be prioritized).
E = Empathy. Have a stress buddy at work and/or home; someone with whom you can both give and get a shoulder.
E = Exercise. Not only does aerobic level exercise stimulate the mind-body's natural mood enhancing chemicals, but walking two miles or a 30-minute workout at the gym provides a beginning and endpoint for a tangible sense of accomplishment and control. In uncertain times, success rituals definitely strengthen psychological hardiness and resilience.
D = Diet. This is not the time to use food to numb your angst. High fats and simple sugars along with excess alcohol dull the brain in the long run and can even trigger moodiness and depression. A conscious healthy eating regimen will be another self-control component in your strategic plan for mind-body safety and personal-professional integrity.
Of course, if after implementing these action steps, you are still in a fearful funk, don't suffer in silence. Reach out to a health professional skilled in post-trauma counseling. Surely words to help us all…Practice Safe Stress!
Mark Gorkin, LICSW, "The Stress Doc"™, is an internationally recognized speaker and syndicated writer on stress, anger management, reorganizational change, team building and HUMOR! His monthly newsletter was just featured by List-A-Day.com and his writings appear in such publications as The Bright Side, HR.com, WorkforceOnline, Event Solutions, Professional Conference Management Association Newsletters, Mental Help Net and Financial Services Journal Online. The Doc has been profiled in Biography Magazine and has appeared in a Workplace Violence segment on CBS-TV News. He is America Online's "Online Psychohumorist"™ (Keyword: Stress Doc) leading a weekly chat group for AOL/Digital City -- http://www.digitalcity.com/washington/stressdr DC Stress Chat. Check out his USA Today Online "HotSite" - www.stressdoc.com Stress Doc homepage (recently cited as workplace resource in a National Public Radio feature on "Bad Bosses"). For more info, email stressdoc@the-bright-side.org or call 202-232-8662 (in Wash, DC).
