Children and Pet Loss: A Guide for Helping by Marty Tousley, RN

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About the book

Children and Pet Loss: A Guide for Helping is a practical tool for physicians, veterinarians, teachers, counselors, parents, grandparents and others who are in a position to help children cope with the loss of a pet. It is intended to help readers understand children's attachment to their pets and the significance of their loss, to understand the child's concept of death, to recognize how children grieve, to encourage the child's successful grieving, to know when and whether to suggest getting another pet, to recognize loss as a valuable lesson about life, and to know which books are recommended for grieving children.

Reviews

"If a veterinary clinic were to only purchase one book to help parents understand how the loss of a pet may affect their children, I would recommend this one! It is written in booklet form and is only 20 pages in total (including the cover). The information included in this booklet, however, is extremely concise and easy to read and understand. This guide will help readers to understand a child's views on attachment, concept of death (at various ages) and gives suggestions about the different ways children may express grief. Suggestions are also offered to encourage a child's successful grieving. The booklet includes a listing of book titles for reading to and by children. This is a truly important tool in helping children deal with the loss of a pet."
-- Terry L. Hickey, President, Halton/Peel Pet Loss Support Group, Ontario, Canada.

"Although my veterinary schooling provided very little education and training on the techniques of dealing with pet loss, my 15 years in veterinary practice and my eight years of involvement with a pet grief support group have given me a very clear understanding of the strength of the bond between humans and their companion animals. Helping clients with children who've lost a pet is an especially challenging task. In a concise and readable manner, this unique booklet encourages and enables the open discussion of a very difficult subject. Children and Pet Loss: A Guide for Helping is an outstanding reference for veterinarians to provide to their clients." 
-- Jim Flegenheimer, D.V.M., University Veterinary Hospital, Tempe, Arizona

"Children's attachment to their pets can be closer than we realize. Children who've lost a pet need to grieve. Behavior in school as well as the ability to focus on schoolwork can be affected by the pain of a child's loss. Teachers are in a unique position to help children understand and talk about the separation, anger and pain they may be feeling when a special pet dies. This informative, well written booklet provides teachers with the tools to do just that."
-- Norene M. Taylor, Fourth Grade Elementary School Teacher, Saint Paul's Catholic School, Leesburg, Florida

"The loss of a pet is often a child's first experience with death, and a parent's first opportunity to explain it. Frequently parents are unsure of how to most effectively talk to their children about this sensitive subject. Clearly and simply written, this handbook is the perfect ‘how-to' for adults helping children cope with the death of a pet. It guides the reader through all aspects of pet loss, including its specific impact on children of different ages."
-- Kathleen O'Brien Kobberger, RN, MS, CS, Psychotherapist, Short Hills, New Jersey

Children and Pet Loss: A Guide for Helping was nominated "for Excellence in the Category of Short Book" by the Dog Writers Association of America on February 9, 1997.

About the Author

As a Bereavement Counselor with Hospice of the Valley in Phoenix, Arizona, Marty Tousley helps individuals and families cope with the terminal illness and death of their loved ones. She also serves as Mental Health Consultant to the Companion Animal Association of Arizona's Pet Grief Support Service, facilitating their monthly support groups for bereaved animal lovers and providing ongoing clinical assistance to the staff of Helpline Volunteers. Having experienced and worked through many personal losses herself, including the deaths of several beloved companion animals, she has a deep understanding of the special attachment that occurs between people and their pets, and a genuine appreciation of the painful effects of pet loss through disappearance, illness or death.

Throughout her 35-year career in psychiatric nursing, she has practiced individual, marital, family and group psychotherapy in a variety of settings, including schools, hospitals, community mental health centers and in private practice. She has published several articles and chapters in the professional nursing and medical literature, writes regular columns on various aspects of pet loss, is the author of the award-winning booklet Children and Pet Loss: A Guide for Helping (1996) and co-author of the book The Final Farewell: Preparing for and Mourning the Loss of Your Pet (1997). Over the years she has provided consultation, community education and training on loss and bereavement in Michigan, New Jersey and Arizona. Her latest book, Finding Your Way through Grief: A Guide for the First Year, was published by Hospice of the Valley in 1999.

Marty received her B.S. in Nursing from the University of Michigan and her M.S. in Advanced Psychiatric-Mental Health Nursing from Rutgers, The State University of New Jersey. She is certified by the American Nurses Association as a Clinical Specialist in Adult Psychiatric and Mental Health Nursing Practice,  by the States of Arizona and Florida as an Advanced Nurse Practitioner, and by the American Academy of Bereavement as a Bereavement Facilitator. She is listed is Who's Who in Medicine and Healthcare, and her work in pet loss and bereavement has been featured in the pages of Phoenix Magazine, The Arizona Republic, Arizona Veterinary News, Hospice Horizons, Dog Fancy Magazine, Cat Fancy Magazine and Pet Life Magazine.  She is an active member of The American Academy of Bereavement The American Nurses Association, The American Psychiatric Nurses Association, Sigma Theta Tau International Honor Society of Nursing, Delta Society,  The Companion Animal Association of Arizona, The Alumni Association of the University of Michigan, and Rutgers College of Nursing Alumni Association.

Marty feels blessed to be the mother of two awesome, wonderful sons, mother-in-love to two very special, talented daughters, and grandmother to a darling little boy, a precious baby girl, two noisy birds, two playful cats and a very large black dog. She lives with her husband Michael and Beringer, their beloved Tibetan terrier, in Fountain Hills, Arizona.

Last modified: August 20, 2002